My Calling

What is my calling?

This question specifically has found itself at the forefront of my mind these past four years. It is one that has left the lips of my parents, professors, friends and my own. For a long time, it was met with a healthy serving of anxiety and eyes darting to find the nearest exit.

The majority of my life I spent seeking a calling that served myself, that brought me contentment and put me in a cushy spot. But the reality is, none of that considered God or what He built me for. As I entered into college, the weight of choosing a major and a career path was met with confusion and a lot of opinions. It seemed as though myself and everyone around me loved to weigh in on what path I should take. Once again, I found myself in a spot that didn't consider God or what He had specifically designed me for.

It was after a year of sitting in business classes that I was hit with the question in clear technicolor. The classes I was in seemed to me useless, my passion for learning had weened to an apathetic whisper, and the $40,000 plus I was spending on my education felt like a waste. So this brought me to reconsider 1.) why was I at Biola? 2.) what did I want to get out of my education and 3.) what was God calling me to?

My path to Biola within itself was an act of trust. I had initially planned on going to Cal Poly in San Luis Obispo but had last minute decided to enroll at Biola, and by last minute I mean last minute. I called the admissions counselor at Biola in August and two weeks later moved into my dorm in Horton. My road to Biola was paved by none other than the Holy Spirit and from then on I knew that my life was in the hands of my Creator.

So there I was, in my second semester at Biola sitting in a macro-economics course completely at a loss for why I was even there. I felt as though I was merely warming a seat, not at all engaged in what I was learning. I realized that that was exactly how I felt in each of my business classes and I was tired of feeling like my education was leading me to a desolate road.

Thus started my journey of finding what my calling looked like. I suddenly felt as though the whole world was opened to me, which honestly freaked me out but also ignited me with a hope that I hadn't yet experienced in my education. After much prayer and conversation with those I respected most I started to ask myself the question of "what ignited my passions?" and "where have I felt most alive?" Honestly in each of those questions I found the answer within the context of ministry. When I was serving in para-church and the local church, I saw myself and the Lord most clearly.

This led me to consider Christian Ministries as my major, and ultimately led me to consider vocational ministry. I love people, I love that God has crafted a narrative within each of us that so clearly reflects his love and grace. And honestly, it fills me with no greater joy than to help people see how God is crafting their lives via their strengths, their heart and what God is teaching them.

If anything my calling continues to be an ever-evolving picture, however I am confident that if I can lead people to come to an awareness of these things than I am leading out of the heart God has given me.

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